Industry Heartbreak

So a couple of posts have come to my attention in recent history and I feel like I need to comment, because they are heartbreaking in a lot of ways. Beware long, ranty, and maybe not completely coherent thoughts.

First : 
 http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/
It's disheartening to hear that she's walking away from programming due to the workplaces that she's worked in - but there are many, many other women in similar situations. No one should have to deal with subtle discrimination and it's a field that is full of potential for subtle discrimination - in many cases you do end up representing the entire gender rather than your individual personality because there aren't enough women in the classroom/workplace. It sucks. And she shouldn't have to put up with it, and if this has happened in multiple workplaces, that makes it harder - but I do feel like there are other options, rather than turning away from the industry, especially if she loves it.

There are places out there where there are either more women in the workplace, or simply men that value having women in the workplace. There are women's networking groups that can help give insight on how to deal with the issues (or ins to jobs that are friendly to diversity).  At GHC one of the more interesting panels was on "The Business Case for Diversity" - having people that think differently from you can help avoid a LOT of potential business pitfalls when you're designing products for everyone. (On that note, maybe there aren't more women in Tech because of all the men in tech... )

This has not been my experience in the workplace, however. I've always been "one of the guys" in a lot of ways - even at a very early age it was me and a group of guys - so honestly, it's an environment that I'm comfortable in. (And another link on how the environment alone can steer women away from the industry... http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/12/091214143728.htm). I've never really had problems being able to represent my ideas and what I bring to the table - but I've also been very lucky to be in environments where maybe "planning an event" was something I WANTED to do and not something that was asked of me because I was the chick in the room. I was valued for having the skills/interest in making an effective team - not for being "the social one".


Second:
http://womanintech.tumblr.com/post/19549272757/why-i-stopped-telling-young-girls-to-go-into

This post also makes me sad, but rings a little closer to home, and fits with some other discussions I've had.  Again, with the "I've been valued for having interests outside of tech" and being able to bring other people in to those interests. It's important. It sucks that everyone doesn't end up in environments where that is valued. But those places exist. Maybe the solution is just talking about it more, and encouraging women to move to those jobs where the BS isn't tolerated (awareness that those jobs are out there). Or maybe it's encouraging more women to start startups where we can build that positive culture from scratch.

Where this does hit home is that feeling of "not wanting to be boxed in". I struggled some with the job search because I didn't want to be "the Usability/User Experience Person" or "the Rich Internet Application Programmer" or... whatever. I have so many interests that there are a lot of jobs and roles that I could do and would be interested in. The trick though? I think is finding PEOPLE that you can work with. If your team and your colleagues suck, your job is going to suck even if the job description matches you perfectly. I've been blessed to find good colleagues - once you find that good team, even if the team splits, new opportunities come along through knowing awesome people. Or maybe it's finding a tech job in a non-tech industry - the ability to communicate to non technical people is clutch, and is highly valued. It's just a matter of finding it.

Maybe we just need to change the discussions. You don't need to put up with coworkers (or a job) that don't value you and your talents. It's ok to switch jobs to find a place where you are valued (regardless of your gender). Maybe it's why I find myself loving working in Chicago and think moving to the Valley for the start up culture I'd be walking away from a lot of awesomeness. Who knows.

On people's comments on your own happiness
On that note, I've had a couple of people that hadn't seen me since the job switch recently. They both commented that I seemed a lot happier. It's probably not fair to say I didn't realize how unhappy the job was making me - I knew (hell, I was so stressed out I got shingles. I knew it mentally AND physically). I just didn't realize how much it actually affected my outward presence/composure). So I'm in a good place. It's cool to know that other people notice the difference, and that aside from my own personal knowledge that I'm in a good place that it does reflect outwardly. Those times where you get a glimpse of how other people perceive you are pretty cool.

My boss ended a phone conversation the other day with "I appreciate you". Lessons to absorb in how to be a good manager here, people. I wouldn't say I didn't feel appreciated at the last job (they joked about getting a body guard for me because I was invaluable) - but so important to give that little bit of validation. Quick, simple, and surprising how many people don't do it. And it completely changes a questionable workplace into a place you'd defend, because you yourself feel valued.